Pursuing happiness may be both good and bad for our well-being; pursued in certain ways, happiness or positivity can become toxic. When people place a high value on their own happiness it can lead to less happiness, especially in contexts where they most expect to feel happy. This tendency to expect happiness and then to feel disappointed or to blame oneself for not feeling happy enough, has been linked to greater depressive symptoms and deficits in well-being. Also overemphasising the importance of a positive attitude can backfire, ironically leading to more unhappiness.
When people prioritise behaviours that maximise the likelihood of their future happiness – rather than attempting to directly increase their levels of happiness “in the moment” – they are more likely to experience improvements (rather than deficits) in their levels of well-being. This may mean engaging in activities that provide a sense of achievement or purpose, such as volunteering time or completing difficult tasks, or constructing daily routines that support well-being. This suggests pursuing happiness indirectly, rather than making it the main focus, could turn the search for positivity from toxic to tonic.
The key ingredient in toxic positivity is not positivity itself; rather, it is how a person’s attitude to happiness leads them to respond to negative experiences in life. The prospect of experiencing pain, failure, loss or disappointment in life is unavoidable. If we are aiming to be happy all the time then we might feel tough times are interrupting our goal. But if we simply put a priority on positivity, we are less concerned by these feelings – we see them as an ingredient in the good life and part of the overall journey.